Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write up #1 What is one example of “small stuff” that you let get to you recently? One example of “small stuff” I let get to me lately was one of my friends told me that another person who I saw as my friend said something rude about me. Normally, I couldn’t care less about what people think of me, but this one really got to me. I thought this person was my friend and it kind of hurt that they were being mean. I had to take into consideration that teenage girls make things up and twist stories for their own amusement, so I had to take this information with a grain of salt. I told myself that If they didn’t like me for who I was, then they weren’t worth my time. I also had to look at it with the opposing view, I needed to check myself and consider if what they were saying was valid. The moral of this story is that you’re not going to be perfect and not everyone is going to like you, the only thing you can do is be the best version of yourself and find people love and respect you.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write Up #2 How does your ego affect how you feel about yourself? I know everyone has felt like they don’t belong or that they are out of place. Both of these things can lower your self-esteem. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. We need to be confident in ourselves and trust ourselves that we can complete something successfully. If we think too highly of ourselves it will turn into arrogance and you don’t want to be like that. All we need to do is work hard and know that we are capable of anything we work hard for. Emotions are a beautiful thing and we need to use them and ignore them whenever helpful. Trust yourself and know you are beautiful and you worked hard to be here and you deserve everything coming your way!
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write Up #3 When you have what you want (inner peace) you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns, It’s easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others. If we are content with ourselves and happy with where we are at then we have more time to help and give back to others. We will be more willing to help and less distracted by bettering ourselves if we learn to be happy with ourselves. This doesn't mean to be content with where you are at if you are not at a good place. Work hard to be at a place where you feel good and complete and maintain that while helping others and giving back. Trying to fix yourself can be a big distraction, and after you are happy with yourself, try to give back and help others reach the point where you are, so that they can do the same as you once they are happy and confident with themselves.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write-Up #4 Do you notice how your body and mind feel when your thinking is out of control? I think we have all overthought something. We think about the possible scenarios, the different outcomes, the effects of the action, ecs. More than likely you have thought up a whole situation before it even happened-that’s how you let your body prepare. I know that if I overthink, I can end up overreacting and/or impulsively reacting to something that in my head, I thought up to be bad. I can completely stress myself and eventually that stress turns into a fear. We can’t let our minds get the best of us, sometimes it can be better to under think, that will end up being the perfect amount of thought and you won’t end up in that position of being “nervous to death”. I need to find new ways to calm down and tell myself that I know what I’m doing and I can’t be letting my thoughts go wild. On the flip side, if I know that I am under-prepared and my thoughts are preparing the worst, well let’s end on a quote “ Anxiety is the price you pay for an unprepared mind”.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write-Up #5 Can you recall a time when you made something “big” and dramatic when in reality it was “small” and not a big deal? Overreacting. Isn’t she that one little bug we can’t get rid of. I know that I have overreacted too many times to count, who hasn’t. These things tend to end up being a very “in the moment” type of thing. I know I have had so many times where a friend and myself will look back and wonder what we even fought about. It was so not a big deal that we couldn’t even remember it 2 months later. A lot of the time, you may give a reaction that everyone expects to see and it is not really real. You basically put on a show so everyone else is amused but you really don’t care. I’ve done it. Another thing is that maybe this one person has done so many things to upset you and you just let them all go until one thing sets you off and all of those past angers come rushing in, then you overreact and after a few days of cooling off you wonder why you got so angry. Most of the time when you overreact, you impulsively do something you’ll end up regretting because you are so heated in the moment. That’s why I try my best to take in all the information I’ve been given and react appropriately so I don’t make a fool of myself, It doesn’t always happen but I do try my best.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write-Up #6 What does your “in basket” look like? Will it be there tomorrow? My “in basket” looks like a lot of softball, homework, staying motivated, making sure everything is organized and complete, making sure all my work is done to the best of my ability, staying positive, being a good leader/role model to the freshman class, maintaining grades, and making sure I don’t go crazy while I’m at it. Time management is key. Sometimes there is wiggle room to have fun and postpone some work, other times you have to get down to business because if you don’t, it’s borderline procrastination. Yes, It will be there tomorrow, if you don’t take care of it. Tough things don’t just magically disappear because we think they are hard. I can’t speak 100% on that, because there are cases where things go away if you avoid them, but that doesn’t happen very often. On the flip side, you can’t go your whole life being a worry wart. You have to let go and have fun because life is short. There needs to be a balance for everything, and it’s up to everyone to find theirs. That’s why, again, TIME MANAGEMENT IS KEY!! It is something I struggle with sometimes and continue to work on, but in the meantime work hard and have fun!!!
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write up #7 Do you believe you are a strong listener, or could you use some work? I think that everyone’s listening skills could use a little work because we only listen to what we want to hear. When I ask about something I’m very curious about, I listen, when someone is telling me something interesting, I listen, but I do tend to zone out sometimes. I am a very observant person and listening kind of goes along with that. I need to work on listening when I don’t want to and listening even if I don’t agree. Most of the time when you give someone the time of day to listen to their ideas, they’ll do the same when you are talking to them. No one likes to be interrupted and it gets very awkward when you are presenting something to someone and it’s obvious they don’t care. I want people to listen to me so I have to be polite and listen to them, or at least make it seem like I am. :)
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write up #8 Recall a time you have given, did you expect acknowledgment? Yes, I don’t even think it was like I wanted to be shouted out or given a gift, I just wanted a thank you. Usually, when I’m doing volunteer work, it’s because I want to. The things I choose to volunteer for include all of the things I love to do-softball, the elderly, and food. All I would want is a thank you. Is that too much to ask?
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Write Up #9 Have you ever experienced someone else stomping on your glory? How did it make you feel? Yes, this has happened. I probably have done it to other people as well. It’s like everything you have to say, they have to spin it around about themselves. Sometimes when this happens I get completely discouraged about what I was talking about and I just don’t talk the rest of the time. I have to think about it when someone else is talking to me because I know how it feels and I wouldn’t want to do that to someone else.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Write Up #10 What are some ways that you’ve learned how to stay in the present? I struggle with staying in the present. Sometimes I’m in the past and sometimes I’m in the future. When I’m in the past, I think about what I could’ve done differently, and I usually come out of it being a little angry or stressed out. When I’m in the future, I’m thinking about the way I want things to go, and things that could never happen. I usually end up being a little sad that what I was thinking about would never happen. So being in a good mood for me is being in the present. I tell myself that everything else can wait and right now I’m here and I need to focus on where I am in the present.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Write Up #11 Think of a time where you were frustrated, now look at it as a moment of being taught. What’d you learn? Most of the time when I’m frustrated it’s because of time and understanding. If I procrastinate and I can’t figure something out, it gets very frustrating. When my mom or dad (mostly my mom) says something that I don’t agree with or I don’t understand why she did that it gets frustrating because I can’t argue with her. So looking back at those moments, I learn to be calm, don’t procrastinate, and let things go. I think I would be less stressed if I did all of that.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Write Up #12 The next time you are in a discussion/argument, let the other person be right and take notice of the initial feeling that transpires. I would like to say that I am very good at biting my tongue. I have a lot of people around me that do things that irritate me or that I don’t agree with. At RC, it tended to be a little easier because everyone there was all the same and we were all like-minded. Ripon High is more diverse, and that’s a good thing, but more opinions equal more biting of the tongue. I think I do quite a good job of letting people feel like they are right. I don’t feel the need to always correct people because who am I to judge, but there is a very fine line between something I will contest and something I will brush off. I will take a few hits before I bud in and speak my mind. I honestly don’t care enough to be the person that is correcting everyone. I also find it very rude and annoying when someone is correcting me on such a trivial matter. If I am truly wrong and there are legitimate facts that back it up, by all means tell my xyz why I’m wrong, but if it’s a matter of opinions, let’s just not talk about it, so no one has to be right or wrong.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Write Up #13 Do you ever have a reflective moment when you realize that you are so very small in this vast world, and your “drama” isn’t that big of a deal? I’m getting middle school vibes. Let’s just say I was a very EXTRA child and had too much personality for my own good. There was another child that had lots of personality and needless to say “we clashed”. I wasn’t in a very good place and I was looking for attention and validation. Turns out, being the drama queen didn’t do that. I’m so proud of the progress I made but looking back I literally hate who I was. This girl and I fought so much and now we look back and laugh about it. I don’t know if you watched Gossip Girl but this girl and I were the Blair and Serena’s of Ripon Christian school. We loved each other, best friends, like sisters, but we would fight and sabotage each other (not being dramatic). Now, I look back and wonder what was going through my head because nothing we fought about was anything more than petty. We thought that our issues were the biggest deal and turns out nobody cared, we didn’t even care. Now, we are friends, haven’t had a fight in years, and laugh about how stupid we were.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff Write Up #14 Do you have a “Mantra”, a statement, that you make to yourself daily or weekly? I actually have two or three. One of them is when I wake up, and I’m lying in bed, I tell myself that the only thing I have to do today is do better than I did yesterday. This kind of helps me not feel too obligated, but it’s true if each day you do a little better than the day before, you will make tremendous progress in a matter of months. Another thing I like to tell myself that has to do with working out is I will tell myself that I am a “fat loser” and then I’ll start picking it up a little. Or, I will think of what I want to look like in my skinny jeans and think of working towards that. This all may sound very harsh but that’s the only way I can be honest with myself and get anything done. If I was too nice to myself I would never get anything done. I find that talking to myself and doing a little self encouraging, disciplining, reflecting, and motivating pushes me to be better in everything I do and try.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff-Write up #15 Have you lost a relationship because something “small” created a “big” divide? Yes. I can’t think of anything specifically, but I know it has happened. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, you can think it is way bigger of a deal than say a week later. That’s why in sports they have the “24-hour” period where after a game or something where you can’t contact the coach because you need to cool off and think about what you are going to say.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff-Write up #16 What do you hope for a year from now? Hopefully a year from now, I will be a sophomore at RHS, taking some fairly challenging classes, and continuing in leadership. I hope to be playing volleyball, softball, and soccer, and participating in link crew, debate, and hopefully a few more clubs. I want to be happy and confident with myself mentally and physically. I hope that this whole covid thing goes away and we will be at dances and football games by then. At this point next year, I will be almost 16 and be getting my driver’s license soon.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff-Write up #17 Was life meant to be fair? What does that mean? Maybe life was intended to be fair, but it’s not. To me, what you get is based upon how hard you work for it, not whether you think you deserve it or not. It’s a pretty cut-throat world out there and nobody is really looking out for you other than some family and select friends. I think that we were intended to have to work for what we got, not just I want it, I get it, but you want it, and don’t get it. Everyone can’t all have the same things, that would be boring, and if life was fair everyone would be lazy, and nothing would ever get done. There wouldn’t be a variety of jobs because everyone could work at McDonald’s and own a yacht. Life isn’t fair and sometimes it really sucks, and sometimes it is really cool. It makes life interesting and makes everyone unique. We would all get bored if we all looked the same, sounded the same, and had the same job. Sometimes really unfortunate things happen because life isn’t fair, but it’s a blessing and a curse. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff-Write up #18 Do you take time to be bored? No, not at all. I always feel like I have to do something. I am constantly making lists of things I want and need to do, If I have even one spare minute, I will start something that I’ve wanted to do. I need to let myself just sit and be calm. When I don’t have anything to do, I read or watch Netflix or something. I never just sit and do nothing. I can’t. I get anxious when I just sit and do nothing. I need to work on letting myself be bored and not constantly filling my time.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff-Write up #19 Have you been taught that high stress is a positive thing? Yes, and no. If my mom or dad came home and asked me what I did today and said I cleaned my room, did all my homework, did 3 art projects, did my chores, finished school, and didn’t eat lunch because I didn’t have time. They wouldn’t be proud of me because I didn’t eat and swamped my day, but they would be proud that I had the motivation to do all of that, and organized my time well. So, yes and no, but mostly no.
\Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Write Up # 20 When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone with gratitude? In November, the freshmen reps and I wrote a letter to someone as if it was our last day. I wrote to my mom and read her the letter in the car. She thought it was so cute and thoughtful. I normally don’t speak about my feeling so it really brought me out of my comfort zone. I enjoyed being able to tell my mom how I felt and I thought it was fun to be able to talk to my mom like that.
Book Study #21-If you could change anything about your life right now, what would it be? I would change my ability to stay motivated and I would change my habit of procrastination. High school would honestly be so easy if I was always motivated and If I did stuff as soon as it was assigned. I think it's up to us to keep ourselves motivated and I’m still working on that. Procrastination is something that many of us teenagers have, but we could easily get rid of it if we really tried. If we took one hour and put our phones away and worked on assignments, we would get much more done. I don’t want to change anything else about my life because I don’t want it to affect the future. Although there are many larger matters that I would be glad to change, I know they are shaping my future and that not everything can be easy.
Book Study #22-Describe something in my life that I turned into an emergency? I think we all have done something embarrassing in front of people and we immediately turn it into a 911 conversation between us and our friends. I know I have done this several times where something has happened and I was embarrassed so I ran and told my friends. Looking back at it, it probably wasn’t a big deal but I made it one. I know first hand that teenagers are the most dramatic beings on this planet, because I am too. We make life so much more difficult and sometimes we just need to put things in perspective. “Someone has it worse than me”, is what I always tell myself. We are in control of how we deal with our issues and turning them into an emergency doesn’t help anyone. Book Study #23 Analyze “It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for”. Sometimes, we don't have an answer to something and we are left to put things on our back burner. We have to use our more sensitive and softer emotions to work. If we have no answer, we have to think creatively. We have to tap into different aspects of our brains to be able to form an answer clearly. When we have to think deeply, we use parts of our brain that we don’t normally have to use. Taking stuff off of your back burner would require specifically making an effort to do so. Sometimes, we don’t know how to approach these things, but we have to confront them somehow. This is where we have to use our quieter, softer, and most intelligent source of thinking to take these things off of the back burner.
Book Study
24- Who is one person you would like to thank at the moment and why? I would like to thank my mom because she has been helping me with a lot of things lately. She has been giving me advice regarding soccer, leadership, school, friends, etc. She helped me make my posters for Warm and Fuzzy week. She always has solutions to my problems and she always tells me she's proud of me.
25-What are your initial thoughts when reading this chapter? I was thinking about all the times that I avoid eye contact, even with people I know. I get uncomfortable and I have a fear of them giving me a dirty look. Sometimes, I’m afraid to say hello because if they don’t remember me they might be rude. Since we read that chapter, I smiled at a few random people and they smiled back. I never realized how much I could influence a stranger's day. This also helps the image of teenagers. Many older people don’t have the greatest impressions of teenagers. If they see a young person smiling at them and being friendly, it could make us all look better, in their eyes.
26- Do you find a quiet moment in the day, every day, to just be present? Before bed everyday, I read, do yoga, stretch, etc. This really calms me down before I go to bed and it helps me fall asleep better. Sometimes I write down what I’m thankful for or I write my schedule for the week. This helps me clear my mind and I can wind down from the day. Sometimes I can’t stop my brain from going/thinking so I’ve found that this helps me fall asleep. I think I could set aside more time for myself and that would help me even more.
27- Describe a time when you were frustrated with someone and you “let it go”. How did this make you feel? In this specific situation, I got extremely mad at a girl (for a valid reason) and I didn’t talk to her for 3 months. I forgave her and we moved on. I unblocked her and we started talking again. It was almost a mental strain and I felt like it was more work to be mad at her. We talked everything out. Our relationship isn’t the same as it was before but it was nice to clear the air. She apologized to me and I told her it was ok. I was relieved that it was over and I think it was better for my mental health.
Book Study-#28 Describe a situation where you didn’t seek to understand first? Sometimes when someone is talking to me, I stop listening because I’m planning on what I plan to respond with. Sometimes this can lead to misunderstandings and cause problems. If someone is sharing a problem they have with you and you don’t listen to them first, you will never fix the problem. If you don’t self-reflect and understand what they are saying, your problems won’t be solved. I do this all the time when I have issues with my family members. Our problems don’t get fixed if we don’t understand each other first.
Book Study-#29 Who is someone that you can genuinely talk to, that you know will listen to you. Describe this relationship? I feel like I can genuinely talk to Ava. I don’t feel like I can talk to a lot of people, my family included. This is why my relationship with Ava is so different because I’ve known her for so long and she is one of few people I feel comfortable talking to. She always tries to help me get over things and helps me understand that I overthink things and helps me remember that it’s not that big of a deal. She never tries to one up me and when I’m talking, it’s about me.
Book Study-#30 Describe a time where you lost your sh!t and it wasn’t worth your energy. How did you feel after? Could it have gone differently if you didn’t sweat the small stuff? I argue with my mom a lot and sometimes I lose it. It’s rarely worth it because in the end she is my mom and I love her. I always end up feeling bad and she does too. We never end up accomplishing anything and our issues are still there. The only thing we did was yell at each other and make each other feel bad. Both my mom and I overreact but that’s because we bottle things up until we explode. We both need to not sweat the small stuff and we probably would have a better relationship.
Book Study-#31 Describe a time when you were in a bad mood and how it shaped your day. On the other hand, explain when you had a good day and it shaped your day? Sometimes when I have a bad day I notice it spreads to other people. I act a certain way and other people will match my energy. It is not fun when everyone is in a bad mood and I was overall less productive. Everything I did, I did with negative energy. I’ve had good days too and It affected other people as well. It is more fun and the day goes by quicker. When I’m having a good day I feel more productive and it’s easier to get things done.
Chapter #32 As an experiment, apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with right now. Explain your emotions and logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it? I feel like I have accepted this motto pretty early into high school. I try to remember that high school is supposed to be some of the best years of our lives, but the learning portion of school and the competitiveness has made it difficult to enjoy these four years. Specifically grades and softball. At this point everyone is getting all crazy about college and the ability to be recruited for sports in September. I understand that it is important to start planning and this is something I need to take seriously, but I’m also sixteen and I want to be sixteen. For example, I am going through a huge hitting slump in softball right now. I haven’t hit the ball consistently in four games. I know this could affect me winning all league, but this has given me the opportunity to work harder and fight myself mentally. I need to be stronger than my mind, because I am the only person I am fighting against. This is not the end of the world and I know that. All I can do is work harder and eventually I will start to hit again. In the long run, my sophomore year school softball season is not that important and I will live If I don’t win all league. It’s not worth stressing myself out over something that is not that important.
Chapter #33 You will not please everyone. How does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative and not the positive? For me personally, I take that statement too far. I have the mindset that as long as I am not hurting anyone, I’m going to do what I want to do and I don’t care what other people have to say about it. I know I won’t please everyone, so I try to please no one. If it happens along the way, even better, but I’m not going to push myself to the side to make sure other people are happy. They probably aren’t doing that for me, so why should I do that for them. If we focus on being good people and being nice, we won’t have any issues. I just don’t think that I need to go out of my way to make other people happy when they aren’t doing that for me. If we were all just good and nice people it wouldn’t matter. I could take care of myself and put myself first and pleasing others wouldn’t even matter. Someone is always going to be unhappy and all you can do is your best and whoever appreciates you are people you should keep around.
Chapter #34 Describe a time when you completed a RAK and how did it make you feel? Recently, I have been going to yoga and staying the night at my grandma's house on Sunday nights. We used to hang out all of the time before Covid, but we stopped. I think she really appreciates me doing this because she is lonely and doesn’t have anyone to do things with anymore. Whenever I ask her to come over she ends up smiling and almost never turns me down. It feels good to know that I am making her day a little better by asking her to hang out, calling her randomly, and inviting her over for dinner. I am glad that I am able to make her a little happier when I can.
Katie Rhodes Book Study 35, 36, 37, 38 Chapter 35 Looking Beyond Behavior In your own words describe the meaning of loving-kindness? I feel like loving kindness is when you are putting someone else before yourself. The act of not being selfish is showing loving-kindness. Honesty, compassion, and empathy also makeup loving-kindness. Bottomline: I feel like honesty is the foundation of it all. If you aren’t honest with someone then you obviously don’t love them.
Chapter 36 See The Innocence What occurs when we practice compassion towards others and let go of “their” story, rather than be caught up in the drama of the situation? Sometimes I think as teenagers, we get caught up in the “he said/she said” instead of taking a step back and looking at the situation. I do this myself and it tends to make situations worse. Being 16 sucks because I sometimes act on people's actions and not their thoughts or intentions. By this I mean that I don’t look at what they meant to do or say or take a step by and try to figure out why, I see it so black and white and it ends up causing more problems for me because I end up doing something I will regret later. I think it is important to forget about your ego and pride for a second and if something is important to you you can fix it. Not thinking about how others will react and other people's points of view can make or break your relationship. You can’t get caught up in the drama of it all and work things out between the two of you.
Chapter 37 Choose Being Kind Over Being Right Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look at your ego first before you answer… Equanimity is the state of being mentally calm or not losing your temper in a difficult situation. This is the art of keeping your composure when it is most difficult or frustrating. I feel like I don’t “snap” very often. I usually walk away from things that I maybe should’ve said something. I’d say that I practice this pretty well because I’m normally pretty calm. My mom has taught me that raising my voice or changing my tone won’t get my point across any better so I might as well stay calm.
Chapter 38 Tell 3 people today how much you love them In picking 3 people, why did you choose them and why? I chose Allie Camara, my dad, and my grandma. To start with Allie, she isn’t like my other two best friends (Payton and Ava) where we get dressed up, go to dinner, take pictures together, we have a simple relationship. Allie and I dress comfortably, we watch the sunset, we go get food, we watch movies, and I feel like I went through a rough patch and she was really there for me. Other people that were “there for me” didn’t really feel like they were. I felt like they wanted to say the words “I’m here for you” or “Call if you need anything” just to have a clean conscience and feel like they tried to help. Allie’s felt genuine. No matter what I do or tell her I feel like I will always have her friendship and that makes me happy. She doesn’t judge me, she tells me when she thinks I’m being stupid but it’s not in a judgemental way. I love Allie and this assignment made me realize I probably don’t tell her how grateful I am for her. The second one is my dad. My dad bends over backwards to make sure my brother and I are happy and have everything we want/need. My dad has always been my buddy, we have similar personalities, we like to just chill, and we are both pretty lowkey. I love my dad so much and I’m so grateful for the things he does for me. Lastly is my grandma. She isn’t like normal grandmas, she is a spicy grandma. She is in a garden club, and does pilates, and wears lululemon, and tells me about the latest fashion trends. She’s a cool cat. She does everything for everyone in my family. She is the glue that holds my family together.
Book Study #39 Describe a time when you saw an individual or group lack humility. How did that make you feel about said individual/group? This is a huge thing in highschool. They start high school one way and then they forget who they are when they become cool or popular or good at something, or known for some reason. They don’t stay humble and it’s honestly really sad. You see these kids that you’ve known half your life and they throw it all away to be “popular”. My parents have always taught me that no matter what happens to you or what you accomplish, you have to stay humble. “Never forget where you came from” is what my mom always tells me. You see these people and you see their potential or how they could be and they throw it away. The more days I go to school the more I realize that people that are nice and humble are way cooler than any of the “popular” kids”
Book Study #40 What is your perspective/opinion on this article? Valid, or a waste of time? My mom has always said to us “nobody wins when you keep score”. That never made sense to me because I’ve played sports my whole life. You have to keep score to know who wins, I thought. Now it all makes sense, she doesn’t mean literally winning. If you are constantly thinking about who is doing more and who is doing less, your brain will never be satisfied. It becomes this toxic cycle in your brain of trying to figure out who is the winner. Sometimes you might be doing a little bit more than your part but you have to think about the relationship and if it’s worth having this toxic mindset. It’s not worth it to be constantly comparing because you will never win.
Book Study #41 Are you Weatherproof? I feel like being self aware is very important as a friend. You always need to be aware of what you’re doing and how it affects others around you. I think there is a flip side to it though. If you are constantly looking for something that is wrong, you will be a negative person. I think you have to be cautious about your actions and how they affect others, but you will be critical and negative if you are always looking for things that need to be changed or something that is wrong. No one wants to be constantly criticized and broken down. Looking for positives in difficult situations can be hard but you don’t want anyone to think that you are negative. Katie Rhodes Book Study 42,43,44 Leadership
Book Study #42
Who do you choose to send love to at this moment? I have found that in this moment it is important for me to pay attention to the ones that I am sending love to. Currently, I am giving love to the people that I know want the best for me and are always there for me. I have spent too much time sending love to people that don’t deserve it or don’t even want it. I find it important to look at who is sending you love. My friends that show they want me in their lives are the people that I give love back too. I can’t blindly love all my friends anymore because it was draining me. Family is a tricky topic because we are taught that we are supposed to love family no matter what. What you aren’t taught is that family will be the ones that it is most difficult to love. I agree they are blood and that should mean something but you should also draw back at times if you feel like that love and respect aren’t being reciprocated.
Book Study #43 Reflect on the following: “judging others takes a great deal of energy and without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be”. We can’t stop ourselves from judging others, it’s inevitable. What we can do is not let it consume and define you. When you see someone you instantly judge them, when you talk to someone, you are judging what they say and how they respond. Most of the time we aren’t going out of our way to judge it just happens subconsciously. I think a little judgment is okay. If someone tells you on a first date that they hate their family and their dad is a serial killer, it is safe to judge that maybe you don’t want to date them. Judging people in areas that they can’t control is where you might enter bad territory. The only reason people judge looks or clothes is to make themselves feel better. If I say you have a big nose, it might be that someone told me I had a big nose but I think yours is bigger so therefore I can feel better about my nose. It is a vicious cycle. By constantly judging someone, you might as well hold up a big sign that says “IM INSECURE”. What are you trying to gain either? You called her ugly or said she’s mean, what did you gain from that? Does that make you feel better? People don’t want to be around constant negativity. Judgment only gives gratification for a short amount of time. Instead of taking that time to break others down, you could be working on healing your inside that makes you want to constantly judge. Judging other people will keep you from being genuinely happy and getting anything done. It is so time consuming to break others down that at the end of the day, you are only wasting YOUR time.
Book Study #44 Why is it important to see the differences amongst one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world? Life would be so incredibly boring if everyone was the same. Yet, we are so quick to judge something or someone for being different than us. If we were all the same there would be nothing to talk about and you would barely have to get to know people. It is important to see the differences amongst our friends and cultures and celebrate the differences. If you have the perspective that differences are fun and interesting to learn about, you can stop yourself from judging. You don’t have to change yourself or your own beliefs but it is okay to think something is cool and interesting to learn about. I think more people should be open to learning about others because there is so much to learn about different groups. No one is asking anyone to change, but you can at least develop an understanding of other people and respect the creativity and culture. Katie Rhodes Book Study 45,46,47
Book Study #45 What are some ways you can help spread kindness towards others? An easy way to spread kindness is to smile at people when you walk by. It is super easy to just smile when walking by. I know when people smile at me, it makes me smile. No one wants to get dirty looks from people, especially if they don’t know you. Another way to spread kindness is to give compliments. Not fake compliments but real genuine compliments. It is nice when someone compliments things that are important, not superficial things. Sending a text is another way to spread kindness. Checking up on someone or sending an “I miss you” text can be very nice. Book Study #46 Give someone a compliment via text message or DM. Who did you choose and how did it feel to support another person? I texted Allison Camara. I told her how proud of her I was for her running for a class officer position. This is very unlike her and I’m proud of her for going out of her comfort zone. I also told her how much I appreciate her for everything she does for me. She reaches out to me, she is there for me, she goes with me everywhere, and she keeps me in check. Her text back made me really happy because we don’t normally tell each other how much we appreciate each other. She was very happy and sent a nice text back. Book Study #47 Discuss a time when you had self doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how can you change this behavior? Before cheer, I had a lot of self doubt. I had a lot going on in my life and I didn’t know if it was a good idea to try a new sport. I had done gymnastics before but the cheer atmosphere is very different. I didn’t think I could do it because I was scared of failure. I was scared of messing up in front of all those people. I told myself If I really wanted to do it, I should try it and it doesn’t matter what other people think. I created this mindset that I still use. No one is going to remember half the stuff I do in high school, especially if I mess up in a cheer routine. I should just go out there and have fun. I couldn’t let what was going on in my life stop me from trying new things and having fun.
Book Study #51
During all of my evals, I have felt criticized, but in a good way. Criticism has such a bad energy around the word but I think that it can be helpful. The whole point of our evals is to criticize us so we do better. Sometimes you will never understand what you are doing wrong if no one tells you. If you understand the intentions behind it, criticism isn’t such a bad thing. It also takes some humility to put aside that you are doing something wrong and listen to the words that someone is telling you. Morty and the Asb presidents don’t want to spend countless lunch periods putting people down, because that’s not what it’s for. It's a constructive way to tell you that you aren’t meeting all the requirements and what you could do to improve. We wouldn’t have evals if they weren’t helpful. Junior year I broke down crying in my eval because Makenzie and Morty said I was being distant. I knew that already but I never communicated with them what I was going through that caused that. That is still on me. After I had calmed down it made me realize that they noticed me. They noticed how I was acting and were concerned. After I had explained, they understood. My eval cleared up so many issues that were caused by my miscommunication. In other words, their “criticism” towards me and being distant, ended up being productive. My eval senior year was also productive. I knew everything they had told me but hearing it from someone else made me think about it more. I realized that I’m a role model in leadership and on this campus and I need to act accordingly. They told me what I was doing wrong, but I listened to their words instead of responding with my emotions. Criticism can be helpful if it is delivered correctly and if you internalize it instead of being stubborn.
Book Study #52 I have had several conversations with people about religion. Religion is a topic that interests me because no one is going to tell you that their religion is wrong. Everyone thinks that their religion is the correct one and if you don’t practice that you're wrong. I love hearing about other people's religions but I wasn’t raised that way. I grew up Christian and I went to Christian school. There we were taught that if you weren’t Christian, you weren’t going to Heaven. This never sat right with me because my parents didn’t teach me that and If you're a good person, you shouldn’t be punished because you aren’t Christian. Anyways, this has brought up a lot of conversations about religion. One time Lucia and I were discussing the differences between Catholicism and Christianity. They are very similar but have a few key differences. I was so fascinated to hear the twists that Catholics have. We both went to private school but at her school they recognized Christianity as pretty much the same thing as Catholicism, whereas at my school, even that was wrong. I had such a good conversation with her about religion. That doesn’t mean I agreed with all of it and went and converted religions, but I wanted to hear her perspective on such a big portion of our lives. At times the conversation was a little bit awkward but I learned a lot. The same thing has happened with Gideon. I’m not Mormon, but It is an interesting religion to me and we have talked about it several times. I asked a lot of questions and while I didn’t agree with a lot of it, I enjoyed listening to his point of view and learning about something I didn’t know about.